Social comparison has become a widely discussed topic in recent years, and a lot of people point the finger at social media. And it’s true, one post, and suddenly your mind can spiral:
“I should have a house by now. I should be married. I should have kids. I should have a side hustle. I should be fit. I should have a big group of friends.”
One post can make you question all of your life choices and leave you feeling unhappy with what you have.
Social Comparison Isn’t New
But if we look back, social comparison has always been part of life — the difference today is that social media makes it visible to all of us at the same time.
I still remember the feeling as a child, going back to school after the Christmas holidays and seeing who had the best presents. Or feeling left out because my family couldn’t afford expensive clothes or holidays abroad. Not to mention all the little competitions: who would find a date for prom first, who had the nicest dress, who got into the most prestigious university.
These experiences are all forms of social comparison. The difference is that back then, we didn’t have the same awareness — at least not at the level we do today. Social media just magnifies it, leaving us feeling overwhelmed.
Looking at Comparison Differently
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Lately, I’ve been trying to look at comparison from a different angle. It can be a motivator. I’m not saying we all need to be fitness influencers or content creators — but noticing what triggers envy can be a clue about what we truly want.
For example, seeing someone with a side hustle doesn’t mean you need to start a business tomorrow. Maybe it’s a sign that you want to go after your own goals, whatever they may be. Or if you see someone who goes to the gym five times a week and feels bad about yourself, it might be because you know deep down you could take small steps to be healthier. And that doesn’t require an expensive gym membership or three yoga classes a week — sometimes it’s just getting up from the sofa and going for a walk instead of scrolling.
Envy vs. Pressure
The hard part is knowing the difference between envy that reflects your own interests versus feeling pressured to be like everyone else. That line can be fine, but we can learn to recognize it. I’m definitely still learning it.
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